Contestant #1: D6V1D B0W13
Mr. Bowie isn't actually bankrupt or out of work, although we can't work out why not. He joined instead because he thought that Little Brother was an interesting social experiment. We've got our money on David being the first corpse we'll have to examine, especially if he carries on with that ridiculous name spelling thing he's got going on.
Contestant #2: Leonard Nimoy
Once a small screen hero, now he's applying his logical mind to advertising all kinds of junk for the promise few dollars, the same reason he chose to enter Little Brother. It'll be interesting to see what sort of strageties he can dream up with his cold hard logic, and maybe we'll find out if he really can perform the Vulcan death grip.
Contestant #3: Steven Hawkins
Steven was chosen as the token cripple, there weren't really very many celebrity cripples to choose from and Christopher Reeves was considered too boring to be on the show. At least Steven has a comedy voice synthesiser.
Contestant #4: David Icke
Anyone who has ever met David will vouch for his complete and utter lack of sanity. He believes the world is run by lizard people who are controlling our governments, and even believes many important world leaders to be lizard people in disguise. How David reacts to his new housemates we'll just have to wait and see.
Contestant #5: Peter Duncan
You may remember Peter from such films as Flash Gordon and othe films, and from the popular childrens television program Blue Peter. Peter has suffered a fall from stardom in recent years so he jumped at the chance to get back into the limelight.
Contestant #6: Margeret Thatcher
Maggie is currently trying to raise funds for her underground terrorist group which is why she applied to Little Brother. She is convinced she can survive to the end and walk away with the prize.
Contestant #7: Phillipa Forester
Phillipa told us that she'd rather die than have to look at another stupid robot or talk to another boring, spotty, 'four-eyed' geek. So we chose her for Little Brother where she will have to spend nine weeks stuck in a house with Steven Hawkins, who holds the unique accolade of being both of the above...
Contestant #8: Hillary Clinton
With husband Bill soon to become just another bloody American idiot Hillary is looking for ways to boost her own career, and what better way than to appear on a stupid gameshow where you only stand a one in ten chance of living... That's American logic for you.
Contestant #9: Gabrielle
Gabrielle once sang "Dreams can come true" but the next nine weeks in the Little Brother house could turn into her worst nightmare. Gabrielle has been wearing her eye-patch for so long now that she actually believes she's a pirate. Does she stand a chance of walking away with the loot? Only time will tell.
Contestant #10: Carol Vorderman
We were suprised when we recieved Carols application form, after all she is still relatively well know and well liked, even if she has started to sag a bit. At the interview however it turned out that her main reason for entering was to get away from Richard Whiteley for a few weeks after having to put up with him for over a decade.
Their First Week In The House
