if you thought phase vun of our plan vas bad, zis will blow your socks off! For zis phase ve will release ze entire back catalogue of David Hasselhoff singles and force zem to be played on all radio stations twenty fours hours a day. Ze only exception to zis rule will be any Spice Girls singles, it seems ve are unable to torture you more zan you are already torturing yourselves you English peasent folk. Ze only reason ve even want your country is to get our hands on all your disease ridden animals for our experiments!
Now ve aren't going to make ze same mistake as in vorld vor two and underestimate you. Ve know now zat you are a stubborn bunch of bastards so ve have developed a third sinister part to our plan.