You cannot stop us now you impudent little fools, ve have kidnapped your beloved Carol Vorderman and we are holding her in a top security prison. Unless you surrender to us unconditionally ve vill feed her a cocktail of drugs vich vill gradually kill her brain....
Vithin vun veek she vill be unable to calculate seventy five times seven and after two veeks she vill not even be able to do simple sums such as two times three....
Eventually she vill die a slow and painful death! Vithout Carol to guide you ve will valk all over your disgusting little country. Either vay, victory will be ours so you may as vell give in now and save her....

Oh, and if you do not surrender we vill be forced implement phase two of our plan for vorld domination