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Logic Spider


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MSR (27 october '000)
Despite being monkeys Electronics Boutique sometimes get things right. They claim that Metropolis Street Racer is going to be released next friday contrary to rumours that the game was to be released in the early twenty-fifth century. They've got a special pre-order offer and leaflets and a demo running in the shop right now which suggests they might even be right.
Could the release date really have been brought forward after so many delays? This diagram may help to solve the riddle once and for all

As you can see the horizontal axis shows the actual date starting in the past and ending in the future, the vertical axis shows the intended release date. The red line shows the correlation between the two dates, and the green line shows where the release date is equal to the actual date... which means that all the points where the green and red lines cross show the dates when MSR will be released.... so I guess the area between the two lines is the time in which the game will be about to have been released.. or something...

Go Sony!(26 october '000)
Today is the official PS2 launch in America and always eager to please the JumpySpider cheerleaders were on hand to join the celebrations click here to see them in action

New Menu! (26 october '000)
You must have seen it on the way in, not much different but a bit more friendly, except the PokeSpider who is a bit of a fucker. More updates coming soon... honest!

PokeKen has a new pet! (17 october '000)
PokeKen has now become the ultimate Pokemon trainer and has captured the legendary PokeSpider. See how his training is going oer at the PokeRanch (otherwise known as the Disinformation page).

Metropolis Street Racer (15 october '000)
Sega have reported that Metropolis Street Racer has now been completed and will be avilable in shops on November 14th. In a totally unrelated story it has also been reported that several police officers in the Metropolitan area have started to grow wings on their backs.

Westlife say 'Yes' to PS2(15 october '000)
"Hi we're Westlife! We've been playing every game for the new Nintendo PlayStation 2 and we can personally endorse every single one as being a least ten times more playable than games on any other console*. Unfortunately we aren't all able to play PS2 games together because our combined total IQ. just tips 100 but thats okay because Nintendo have wisely only put two joystick ports on the machine.. phew!

But don't just take our word for it, go out and buy them all for yourself, you won't regret it**

By the way, our new single is out on the 23rd of October... go visit our website to preview it.

* The opinions of Westlife may not reflect the true opinions of Westlife (the members of Westlife are not allowed to have opinions)
** Westlife cannot be held legally responsible for anything they say

PokeKen speaks (15 october '000)
"this is indeed a terribly sad occasion, as berty the coffee maker in "spastic games ltd" died yesterday through accidentally trying a level of his companies latest and only ever PS2 title. It has been reported that he slipped through the leather tight security men and by-passed the high strength rubber band held across the door.

A spokesman for the company said that the game was not intended for people with IQs over 100, so berty's genius like 101 was just too much.

To prevent any bad effects on the game's sales figures on release, the company has decided to give away a free "westlife" t-shirt with every purchase. This is expected to keep sales just above the number of westlife fans...a wild and over confident estimate being 9.


For more of PokeKen's reports head straight to the Disinformation page

(12 october '000)
Dreamcast section re-opened! Finally all the Dreamcast pages are in place and ready for action, just in time for the release of Metropolis Street Racer, phew.... click here to go there!
.. and don't forget to check out the features section for the first MSR feature. Nice!

Great Jumping Spiders! (10 october '000)
News reached me today that UK:Resistance is alive and well... Hurrah! But before you go and look at their superior comedy... bugger, too late..

..back now? sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin.. er.. continue
The older and wiser of you may know that in a previous life JumpySpider was known as UK:Rebellion, a sister site to UK:Resistance (for 'sister' read 'bastard cousin') so to know that it is live and kicking is like finding a long lost... er.. website.

Anyway, after reading UK:R and reminding myself what comedy is and roughly how it works I have been inspired to try some more of my own.

Henceforth I, the Jumpy Spider, pledge to keep updated regularly through a diet heavy in fibre and low in fat. Enjoy it while it lasts.